Sari's posts with tag: just for laugh
Posted by Sari on Sep 26, '06 4:10 AM for everyone
Two men were shipwrecked near an island. When they landed ashore, one of
them began screaming and yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die!
There's no food! No water! We're going to die!"
The second man leaned calmly against a palm tree.
When the first man saw how calm his friend was, he went crazy and shouted,
"Don't you understand?! We're going to die!!"
Undisturbed, the second man replied, "You don't understand, I make $100,000
a week."
Dumbfounded, the first man looked at him and asked, "What difference does
that make?!? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to
DIE!!!"
The second man answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week and
I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. Wherever I am, my pastor will
be sure to find me!"
BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is
our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject
more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize.
Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others
spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are
unknown -- but we thank them.
Posted by Sari on Sep 26, '06 3:59 AM for everyone
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their
sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some
day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a
better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."
Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment.
Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you
only had four weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the
Great Judgment Day?"
A gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the
Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."
"Very good!" said the group leader, and all the group members agreed,
that would be a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my
remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man
with a greater conviction."
"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group
members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would
go to my mother-in-law's house for the four weeks."
Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your
mother-in-law's home?"
Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because, that would
make them the longest four weeks of my life!"
BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It
is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this
subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we
apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via
email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the
original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.
Posted by Sari on Sep 26, '06 3:55 AM for everyone
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man
in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said
one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they argued before the King until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall cut the young
attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the
other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first
lady's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to cut him in two!" exclaimed the king's advisor.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE
mother-in-law."
BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is
our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject
more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize.
Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others
spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are
unknown -- but we thank them.
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